Classy and Fabulous
by pelori
Summary: Each of the YJ team goes undercover at a disreputable soiree. The catch? Somewhere, among all the lace, frills, and too-expensive perfume is Robin in a dress. And for the sake of being not 100% miserable in her fancy attire, Artemis WILL find him, and she WILL ridicule him. Unless a villain strikes first. In which case, she hopes Robin is better at fighting in heels than she is.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** So this was just a little plot bunny I've been pondering for a while. I take some liberties with the canon, so if you see something that causes your canon filter to throw up some red flags, just suspend your disbelief for a bit.

I've always thought Robin was underrepresented in the show, and I've always found it hilarious that in one (that I know of) of the early Batman comics, Batman actually has Robin cross-dress as bait, so I decided to expand on both ideas, and voila! This was born!

You may also notice the first few chapters are hardcore Artemis focused. Trust me, it's still all about Robin, just told from her point of view. Robin plays a large role in the near future. I've just always liked the relationship (platonic) between the two of them, and there's nothing I like better than the one other human teammate seeing how BAMF Robin can be, even next to their super powered friends.

* * *

_"A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous." -Coco Chancel_

It all started when Hal Jordan came to visit Mount Justice. Or maybe even with that comment Black Canary made a few days ago... Whenever it started, Artemis was sure it wasn't her fault.

"So those are the mission parameters," Batman finished, drawing Artemis back in to the Team's most recent mission briefing. "Just remember, while the success of the mission is important, this is also an opportunity for you all to work on your stealth skills, of which I am told some of you are potentially lacking."

As Superboy grumbled across the mind link and Batman glared at Kid Flash, Artemis could have sworn she felt his disapproving gaze travel across her as well. Did he hear that conversation with Green Lantern? Is that really why he was assigning them this mission? She figured he had to have at least some parts of Mount Justice bugged—c'mon, he was _Batman—_but she also assumed he couldn't possibly be listening to _everything_ they said. Right?

"Black Canary will work with you each individually on details as needed, so I will leave it to her for now. Short of an emergency, you will not be able to reach me for the rest of the day, but Canary can answer any other questions you may have," Batman finished, before abruptly turning to head towards the zeta tubes, causing his cape to do a rather impressive flourish behind him. Artemis could read between the lines of those little parting words. He had better things to be doing today. So don't screw up. The man was just a great big ball of fun.

"Hehehe, this should be fun!" she heard Bats the Younger cackle to her left. How were those two partners? Robin just seemed so different from his imposing mentor!

"Ugh, some fancy party? And we have to go as _civilians?!_ Not my idea of a good time, thank you," Kid Flash complained loudly. "Just cause this is _your _thing, Boy Wonder, doesn't mean we all like having to get all pretty."

As Robin started making faces as Kid Flash in response to the 'pretty' comment, Artemis whipped her head around to stare at the more obnoxious resident ginger. What did he mean by _that_? He specifically said 'pretty'...Did he know... Well, if it was common enough knowledge that _Green Lantern_ thought it was funny conversation material, then Artemis supposed Robin's _best friend_ might be aware... Or was he talking about something else? Some inside joke between the two? Ugh, she _hated_ having more questions than answers! Everyone else on the Team knew each others secrets...why was Robin the only one she still had questions about?

"Alright Team, we're going to have to go into Happy Harbour to get appropriate outfits and disguises for tonight. Think about the character you can play that will work with, while helping to disguise, your current appearance," Black Canary advised, leading the Team to the garage and eventual exit of Mount Justice.

"What does that _mean_?" Superboy whined.

Not giving Superboy further chance to moan or Black Canary a chance to answer, Wally quickly ratted out his buddy, saying, "Why doesn't Robin have to come _shopping_?" The hero in question was making his way down the hall _away _from his teammates and their imminent shopping adventure when Kid Flash called him out.

"Because Robin likely already has a disguise and all its necessary pieces," Black Canary explained.

"I call shenanigans!" Kid Flash cried out, making a last ditch effort to not have to go try on suits and ties without at least having Robin suffer with him. "No way you already have a fancy outfit _disguise_ just ready to go!" Why Wally emphasized that one word, Artemis wasn't quite sure. Like he already just had normal fancy outfits as his civvies? Weird.

"'Course I do, Kid!" Robin called back, his shit-eating smirk growing until it took up most of the bottom half of his face. "But it'll take me a bit longer than you guys to get ready, so I'm gonna go get my stuff and get started."

But Robin didn't move to go get anything. He just stood there, clearly waiting for Kid Flash to say something. The speedster didn't disappoint.

"Why's it gonna take you so much longer?" Wally asked.

"'Cause 'Mis wants me to dress up as a girl," Robin casually explained and then immediately headed to the zeta tubes, effectively ending any further interrogation.

Artemis face-palmed.

Hal. Definitely Hal's fault.

* * *

_**SEVERAL DAYS EARLIER**_

_"__You suck at acting, Boy Blunder!" Artemis called, as their team once again lost a point in the very high stakes game of charades. _

_"__I'm great at acting! It's not my fault you suck at guessing!" he quickly countered. _

_"__I think you both just suck at charades," Superboy muttered, adding another point on the board for his and Wally's team. _

_"__Artemis?" Black Canary called from around the corner, as Robin and Wally started bickering over tallying and scoring procedures. The archer sighed before uncrossing her legs from where she'd been seated on the couch and rose to follow Canary. _

_"__Counseling?" Kaldur asked as she passed him. Smug bastard just sat there sipping hot cocoa. He may be _acting _like the mature and thoughtful leader, asking about where she was going, but she could see right past those caring eyes...Despite everyone's expectations, he and Meagan managed to wipe the floor with all of them in charades. Artemis suspected telepathy to be at work. No way that stoic Atleantean was _that _good at this game. _

_"__Yeah," she answered. "Stupid Failsafe mission."_

_Even though she tried to be quiet, it seemed Meagan was still able to hear, and looked over in an expression that Artemis could only assume was apologetic sympathy. _

_Ever since that disaster of head-space mission where the Martian went kind of crazy after Artemis fake-died, each member of the Team was required to go through regular counseling appointments with Canary. _

_"__Still don't see why I have to go—I died before any of the depressing stuff happened," Artemis muttered under her breath as she headed to where Canary had disappeared into the little room that was doubling as the therapy office. _

_"__You have to go because you're part of a _Team_," Canary reminded her, causing Artemis to hunch a bit in embarrassment, not realizing the older super hero was close enough to hear her complaints. "And you know this isn't just in response to that mission. We all—" and by 'we all', Artemis was pretty sure she meant her and Batman, "-just want to make sure you're handling everything alright. Being a superhero can be a stressful job.__"_

_"__Yeah, well, I'm missing out on a killer game of charades to tell you everything is alright," Artemis said sarcastically. She hated these sessions. _

_Canary raised her eyebrow. _

_"__I mean," Artemis continued, "we were losing, but that was totally cause Birdbrain can't act to save his life. I think I was getting close to having Connor switch with him. At least then I'd have eye-candy on my team."_

_Artemis had only just finished her explanation before Canary started laughing quietly to herself. _

_"__What?" Artemis barked, assuming Canary was laughing at her. _

_"__I'm sorry," Black Canary said, quickly bringing her mirth under control. It's just funny that you and Robin were losing. He's one of the best actors I know. Besides Batman, of course."_

_A beat of silence._

_"__What." Artemis couldn't even bring herself in inflect enough to make the word sound like a question. _

_"__Well, it's just such an integral part of what they do," Canary added. At Artemis' continued nonplussed expression, she continued. "You know how you and Wally are yourselves when you're out of costume, no need to hide? Well, for the most part?" Artemis nodded. "And when you're in costume, you have to be a slightly different person, to protect your secret ID. You wear different clothes, _sort of _use a different name," Artemis grimaced at the reminder that her superhero identity was painfully easy to tie to her civilian one. "and you make sure never to associate your civilian ID with that of your superhero?" Artemis nodded again. _

_"__Well," Black Canary explained, "It's a bit of the opposite for Batman and Robin. They both purposefully crafted a _civilian _identity. The only times they can really be themselves, as much as Batman ever really is himself, is when they _are _Batman and Robin. Any time he's not on a mission with Bats or here at the Mountain with you guys, Robin has to act out this very different character. Trust me, if you met him on the streets, you would have no idea that he's the guy you were just playing charades with."_

_At this, Artemis just sat there in surprise. _

_After a moment or two of processing, she looked up at Black Canary and asked, "Wouldn't that get lonely? Having to live this fake life no one knows about whenever he's not being Robin?__"_

_Canary just looked sad for a moment before answering, "Why do you think he's always so excited to hang out here with you all?"_

* * *

"Seriously?!" Artemis exclaimed in exasperation. They had been at this dress shop for what felt like hours, and she was ready to go home. "Just because I have to pretend to be a... a _debutante_ for this stupid undercover op doesn't mean I have to act like one! I've tried on like ten different dresses already! Just pick one!"  
"Actually," Meagan piped up from where she was examining a floor length pink satin monstrosity, at least in Artemis' opinion, "you do kinda have to act like one. Isn't that the point of having a fake ID and everything? We have to pretend to be these characters?"

Artemis really hated when Meagan hedged her sentences even though she already knew the answer. More than that, she hated when Meagan had a point. To top if off, she hated when that point meant trying on _yet another _dress.

"Artemis," Black Canary began with a sigh, "part of this assignment is learning how to put together a cover. Batman and I gave each of you a dossier for who you're supposed to be tonight. The rest—making that person come alive enough to be believable—is up to you. And some of that means putting in some hard prep hours to make sure everything is just right."

"Well if this one isn't 'just right', I'm just going to pick one from that pile of discards right over there," Artemis groused as she stepped out of the dressing room, adjusting the simple A-line princess style dress.

"Oh that's so perfect!" Meagan cried, clapping her hands together. "Don't you think, Canary?"

The older superheroine smiled and motioned for Artemis to do a full 360.

"I think that will do quite nicely. Artemis, what do you think? Does it match Penelope Park?"

"I still think that's a stupid undercover name," Artemis muttered, smoothing her hands down the front of the dress. "She's supposed to be pretty classy though, so I guess she could get away with wearing something like this. I mean, we are getting it from this designer shop, so we know it's something a rich girl would wear." Black Canary nodded.

"Plus," Artemis added, smiling as she spun the skirt out a bit, "I can totally a decent amount of weapons under here, with these layers to hide the lines!"

"Good," Black Canary smiled back. "You already have the League credit card, so get that dress and Meagan's, and then go find some shoes and accessories. Remember, you have a limited amount of time to make those purchases as well as doing your hair, make-up, and nails before we have to leave for tonight. I'm going to make sure the boys know which end of a suit is up."

Artemis gave a long suffering sigh before turning back to the dressing room to put her civvies back on. M'Gann was practically jumping with joy at the idea of the activities Canary had just listed off, but all Artemis could think was that no agreement with Robin was worth this.

* * *

"So I'm supposed to get a tie that matches the suit? Or the shirt?" Superboy asked, a handful of ties in each large Kryptonian fist, a somewhat dazed expression on his face.

"I don't know, dude!" Wally answered back, feeling less daze and more frustration. "Robin's usually the one I ask all those kind of questions to, and he's not here!"

"Yes, as I understand it, he is..." and here Kaldur paused, seeming to consider his words before speaking them aloud, "...cross-dressing for this mission? Is that the correct term?" Somehow their resident Atlantean had managed to get a staff position in the undercover line-up for the evening, and so would be wearing the catering company's uniform, allowing him to bypass the whole painful 'choose your dress-wear' process.

"Yes. No. It's...complicated," Wally attempted to explain, stepping into one of the fitting rooms, raising his voice just enough that he could continue the conversation. "He said he was gonna dress like a girl, so I guess technically that's cross-dressing."

"Why would he do that?" Superboy asked, confused.

Kid Flash sighed, deciding the dark red shirt just made his hair look ridiculous. Maybe the purple one instead?

"Apparently he's doing it because of some bet or something with Artemis, I don't know," he responded. "He's crazy good at the whole undercover thing, so maybe he's just upping the ante? I know he's done the whole girl cover before, but that was when Bats needed a young girl as bait and didn't want to endanger a civilian. Maybe it's just to see if he's good enough that we won't recognize him. I love the kid like a brother, but who knows what goes on in that crazy head of his," Wally explained, deciding the purple shirt made him look like a pimp and white was just too plain. Baby blue it was.

"But..." Superboy questioned, picking a tie at random and adding it to his small pile of clothes, "won't people know? I mean, he's a boy."

"I too am curious," Kaldur admitted, picking up the tie Superboy had selected and replacing it with another that was better suited. "I understand that Batman and Robin are quite good with disguises, but it seems...untenable that Robin might be able to successfully masquerade as a young woman the whole evening."

"I dunno what 'untenable' means," Wally responded, emerging from the dressing stall, chosen shirt in hand, "but as much as I want to doubt that he'll be able to pull it off, I also know that he wouldn't choose a disguise for an undercover op unless he thought for sure he could make it work."

Of course, Kid Flash had the added bonus of knowing that whatever disguise Robin ended up wearing had to be good enough that neither the Team nor the party attendees would be able to recognize him either as Robin or Richard Grayson, lest he suffer Batman's wrath. If Robin thought he could go undercover as a girl while meeting Batman's standards...well let's just say if there really was a betting pool (and he suspected some sort of bet or dare between Artemis and the resident hacker based on his friend's earlier comment) he wouldn't be putting any money against the Boy Wonder.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm almost done with chapter 2-just needs some finishing touches, so it'll be (hopefully) up in a few days. I hope to update this fic about once a week, so hang in there!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Y'all are lucky I'm home sick with extra time on my hands. When I go back to being productive, it's one update a week! But for now, enjoy! And just know, Robin comes in next chapter, _promise_!

* * *

_"I love dressing up. It's the best part of being a girl, I think." -Emma Roberts_

Artemis was feeling nervous. She shouldn't be. After all, the mission was simply to gather information. And there was plenty of it to gather. Each member of the Team had their own objectives, whether it was just noting who was there with whom, subtly hacking information from phones, reading very specific minds, or just having an intentional conversation with the right person. Subtlety, Artemis could do. Stealth, observation, _spying_, all doable. Even being in a room full of people that ranged from those with questionable morals to the downright villainous didn't do much more than ensure she was alert.

Artemis was nervous because she was in a _dress_, which could definitely impede hand-to-hand combat and or moving at any pace other than a purposeful stride. She was wearing _heels_, and despite her excellent agility and control over her motor functions she was certain any movement could potentially end with her arms pinwheeling and face planting. And to add insult to injury, despite much protest on her part, Black Canary and M'gann had both cornered her and forced her hair into some elaborate design that was constantly falling into her eyes, and covered her face in so much make-up that she was afraid smiling might result in cracks along her cheeks comparable to the San Andreas fault-line across the Western coast.

She did not belong in this outfit.

She did not belong mingling among people who made more money in one week than her family had seen in years.

They could _tell _she didn't belong, she just _knew _it.

The only thing making this torture bearable was that her opinion towards Green Lantern had changed considerably. Artemis prided herself on her rare Pollyanna moment. Shortly before arriving at the party, after Kaldur had already left to take his place among the catering staff, she realized her conversation with Green Lantern and subsequent challenge to Robin was a _gift_. On the one hand, Robin could completely fail, look ridiculous (allowing her a hearty chuckle), ruin the mission, and get the Bat Glare of FailureTM (allowing her gloating rights for _weeks_). On the other, he could actually pull it off and show up in full on drag (allowing her a hearty chuckle), get secretly photographed (she had a small camera, League issue, ready to go) and then be blackmailed by her for the rest of his days. There was no way this could end without Artemis having a solid laugh out loud moment at Robin's expense. Things were looking up. She had to remember to thank Hal next time she saw him.

Just then, a young man in a pinstripe suit with just barely too much gel in his hair to be attractive placed himself directly in her field of vision and offered a smile she was sure he, and possibly some young women too naïve to know better, thought was devilishly attractive.

In the split second she had to respond, Artemis ran through her character dossier one more time.

Her name was Penelope Park. She was from an old money family based in the southern region of France (damn Batman for having her French fluency in her file). She was classy and polished, restrained in outward displays of emotion (M'gann agreed if played correctly, Artemis' natural tendency toward a poker face could actually be seen as 'refinement'). Her family had a history of collecting valuable antiques, whether through legal means or not.

Artemis immediately decided that while Penelope Park would be polite to Mr. Hair Gel, she would not be impressed.

"Madam," the man began, flagging down a passing waiter carrying a tray of champagne flutes, "I find it a crime to see that no one has yet offered you a glass," he plucked two glasses from the waiter's tray—Artemis was glad it wasn't Kaldur, she didn't think she could stand the embarrassment—and promptly proffered one to Artemis. "I hope to remedy that, Miss...?"

Artemis took the stem of the flute in between her thumb and first two fingers, attempting to appear like balancing the dainty glass like so was in no way difficult. She wasn't sure she was succeeding.

She gave the man a prim smile that she hoped came off as 'mysterious'-something Black Canary told her could also be beneficial to her character. She really hoped Hair Gel saw her expression as mysterious, because she was afraid the only look she was giving off was constipation.

"Penelope Park," she said, adopting a light French accent and raising her glass in thanks. At least this was something she could manage. A little French twist on the r's, a flourish of a word here or there, and voilà! She was French! "Thank you, Monsieur...?" she turned his question back on him.

"Joseph Reed, of Reed Industries," the man said proudly, like she should recognize the name. Rather than let it become obvious that she didn't, the archer quickly changed the subject.

"So, Monsieur Reed, are you here for business, or pleasure?" As soon as she said it, Artemis wished she could just face-palm and walk away. She sounded ridiculous.

The man chuckled, "There's no reason one can't be the other..." he left off with a raised eyebrow.

Apparently he didn't think she sounded ridiculous.

Well, either way, this man wasn't her mark. She wasn't here to socialize. She was here to find a rather elusive man Batman's sources simply described as large, bald, and far too well connected for an up and coming drug kingpin. The rumors suggested League of Shadows level connected. Joseph Hair Gel Reed certainly didn't fit her description, and unless he could point her towards someone that did, she was done with this conversation.

"Well unfortunately, Monsieur Reed—" she began, only to be interrupted.

"Call me Joe!" he insisted.

She nodded and gave what she hoped was a polite, coy smile and continued, "Unfortunately, Joe, I am here on business. You see, the Family is trying to expand into other...markets, and I've heard rumors about a man that might just be able to help us do that." Artemis felt like she was talking straight out of a gangster movie. Canary really thought people at these things talked like this?

"Oh?" Joe the hair gel man replied. "Well, perhaps I can point you in the right direction. I just ask that in exchange I might be remembered fondly if we cross paths in the future," he suggested with a wink.

Oh gross.

She was so done with this conversation.

Just think, Robin in a dress. Blackmail for life. Good laughs to come. Do it for the ridicule to come.

"I only know the man as something of a spider, sitting in the center of a web, pulling all the strings. I have heard he is rather imposing of figure, and keeps his head clean shaven," she spoke the words almost by rote from the file on the man. Thus far, Batman didn't even have a name for him. Just referred to him as the Spider King.

"Hmm..." her flirtatious conversation partner considered. "I am not familiar with a large bald man, but if you're looking for a man that sticks more to the shadows, you might start with Mack over in the corner there." At the word 'shadows' Artemis felt herself tense. Just a coincidental turn of phrase? Or did this playboy actually hold some information? It didn't feel like a coincidence for him to have used the word while discussing a man that might have an in with the Shadows.

"Mack?" she questioned, looking for more.

"Mmhmm," the man replied, stepping close enough to put his arm around her to edge her around to face the back corner of the room. "Mack isn't as much of a social butterfly as you and me, and definitely not someone a sweet thing like you should get involved with, but if you're really here on _business_," and with that he ran his hand down her arm to her fingers, taking her hand in his as he pointed toward a man in a fedora, currently engrossed in conversation with two other men, all of whom looked like they jumped right off the screen of _Scarface_, "then that's the man to talk to. And maybe once you're done with that, you can join me for a dance?"

With that the young socialite raised her hand to his mouth in what Artemis was sure he thought was a suave move, but really just had her using all of her control not to flinch away from.

"Merci beaucoup, Monsieur," she replied, gracing him one last smile before she slowly began to make her way towards what she was sure was a corner full of mobsters. As she wove through people, offering nods of acknowledgment here and there where it was polite, she caught sight of Meagan and Superboy through the crowd. Unlike the rest of the Team, those two lucky dogs had covers that allowed them to come to the party _together_, as a couple. And of _course_, Meagan looked gorgeous and completely comfortable in the pale yellow mermaid dress she had eventually chosen. And while normally Artemis would take comfort in the fact that Superboy looked just as uncomfortable as she felt, she couldn't ignore the fact that at least he looked like he belonged there, at Meagan's shoulder, offering her silent support.

Artemis sighed.

She just hoped Robin was as uncomfortable in his heels as she was in hers. Then again, if Green Lantern was to be believed, he had more experienced in walking in them without looking like a drunken clown on stilts.

* * *

**_SEVERAL DAYS EARLIER_**

_Artemis groaned. When the Team had heard that their guest lecturer for inter-planetary politics was none other than Hal Jordan, Green Lantern extraordinaire, they had all been thrilled. Well, most of them still were. Artemis, however, felt disillusioned. Apparently politics among other species was no less complex and no less boring than politics on earth. Ugh. _

_"__Alright guys," Green Lantern seemed to finish, vanishing the glowing green planets floating around the room with a flick of his hand. At least the show and tell was cool. "That's all I've got for a lesson on the basics."_

_Artemis felt her jaw drop. The basics? There was _more_?_

_Unfortunately, however, it seems the human Lantern caught sight of her stricken expression, and gave her a quick grin. Did that mean he was joking? She couldn't tell._

_"__Any questions?" he asked, gaze crossing the room to the rest of her teammates. _

_"__Yeah!" Robin and Kid Flash said in unison. They were both sitting on the edge of their seats, and Kid Flash looked like he was about to vibrate out of his chair. _

_"__Can you spar with us?" Wally asked eagerly. Even Superboy seemed slightly more emotive than his usual apathy as he uncrossed his arms and waited for the answer. _

_"__Just a quick demonstration!" Robin added. "Just to see how we hold up against you!"_

_Hal laughed and agreed. _

_"__You guys go get warmed up. I'll be there in a bit," he told them. _

_Quick as a Flash, the two boys were out of their chairs and racing for the sparring room. The others began gathering their notes and heading that way at a more leisurely pace. _

_"__No way that kid is a master at acting," Artemis muttered to herself, thinking again about what Canary had said to her the day before about Robin's history with undercover ops, and how unlikely it seemed that the fanboy could in any emotion before it showed up on his sleeve. _

_"__What was that?" Hal appeared beside her, nodding the others on ahead as he gave her a small smile. _

_Artemis blushed. She didn't mean for anyone to hear her, especially one of the most famous superheros in the _galaxy_, who had better things to do that hear about the results of a game of Charades. _

_"__I...I was just thinking about something Canary told me the other day," she muttered, scuffing her booted foot on the ground. "I thought Robin was too emotional and just...I dunno...too immature I guess...to be able to act undercover," she finished, with plenty of pauses and stutters. She was sure she sounded like a jealous little kid. _

_She looked up, however, when her words were immediately followed by what could only be described as a guffaw from the older hero. _

_"__Robin? Not good undercover? Hahaha!" the man continued to laugh. At Artemis' somewhat surly and confused gaze, however, he brought it down to a light chuckle and explained, "Robin was trained by _Batman_. The man _perfected _how to maintain the perfect cover. When Robin doesn't want anyone to know who he is, you can be standing right in front of him and not know it. I mean, he's pulled off so many different accents, looks, personalities...just about any potential combination for a boy his age. Actually..." he paused, "it doesn't even have to be a boy's cover! I remember this one time...hahaha!" Hal had to take another moment for a quick laugh at the memory. _

_"__Heh, this one time Bats called in some League help to shut down this international sex trade ring that had stretched into Gotham. The Gotham branch was only in the market for young girls, so Robin did his thing so he could get more information on who the bigger international bosses were. Sure enough, Robin heard enough and hacked enough that he got word out to Batman, who gave the signal and move in to get Robin out. Unfortunately, however, we didn't get there before the local boss took a liking to the Boy Wonder."_

_Artemis shuddered on her friend's behalf. _

_"__Robin didn't want to break cover and let the goons find out he was actually Batman's protégé—you know how Bats gets about secret ID's—so he couldn't break out any Dynamic Duo moves. Instead, he decided to tell the head goon half the truth; that he was actually a boy and had been cross-dressing when they found him and brought him in," Half paused for dramatic effect. _

_"__Did it work?" Artemis asked, engrossed in the story. _

_"__No!" Hal laughed, and quickly continued explaining once he saw the young heroine's face take on a concerned expression. "He wouldn't believe the kid! Said there was no way he could be a boy! At this point, Robin was just trying to play for time so the full backup of the League could take out all those lowlifes. 'Fine!' Robin calls out, and without further ado, sheds his clothes right there! When we busted in, Robin was just standing there with his arms crossed, wearing nothing but his birthday suit, staring down this massive gangster who was just standing there like he'd just gotten a bucket of cold water to the face!" With that, Hal just started guffawing once again, and Artemis could feel her jaw go slack and eyes widen. _That _was a Dynamic Duo story she'd never read in the Gotham Gazette. _

_"__Hey, GL," she suddenly heard from behind her, and turned in horror to face the Boy Wonder himself. "You tellin' that undercover story again?" Robin cackled. _

_"__C'mon kid, it's classic! How many other superheroes do you know that immobilized a villain just by dropping their drawers?" Hal teased. _

_"__A feat for which I am very proud," Robin drawled, smirk firmly in place. "So what brought about story time?" he asked. "The others're all warming up, waiting for you."_

_"__Artemis here and I were chatting," Lantern explained. "She didn't think you'd make a very believable girl," he added with an upturned mouth. _

_"__Wha? No, I—" Artemis unsuccessfully tried to defend herself. _

_"__Arty!" Robin feigned hurt, throwing his hand to his heart. "I can't believe you doubt my skills!"_

_"__I've just never seen you be anything other than the little 13 year old troll that you are," she maintained._

_"__Well then, Artemis, challenge accepted," Robin stated, crossing his arms and smirking like nobody's business. _

_"__What challenge?" she asked, apprehensively._

_"__Next time we have an undercover op, I'm gonna play such a perfect girl, you won't even recognize me. In fact," he paused, smirk stretching wide enough she wondered if he'd been taking lessons from the Joker, "next op, I'll be a better girl than you." _

_With that, the Boy Wonder headed off to join the rest of the Team in the sparring room, leaving Artemis standing by her desk doing her best imitation of a fish out of water._

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry, more flash backs than present day in this chapter! But never fear! That should be the last flash back (maybe...) of the fic, so on to some lol-inducing cross-dressing action in the next chappie!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Alright! Finally on schedule with the Friday updates! Again, I love all you readers dearly, but real life beckons, and updates are going to have to be a bit more on the weekly (bi-weekly MAX) side.

If anyone's wondering, the idea from this came from once of the Young Justice comics. It starts with the Team all sitting in what looks like a classroom in Mount Justice while Captain Atom gives them a lecture on forensics and stealth, and basically all the more human aspects of being a superhero. It showed one panel for each sidekick/partner, and Robin just looked bored out of his _mind. _So my head cannon is that Batman has probably taught him all of this already, but he still has to sit through all the lectures for...team bonding or something. Who knows.

Anyway, I just wanted to see an opportunity for some of Robin's Batman'style talents, like undercover work, to really shine. And what better way than that age-old trope of CROSS DRESSING FOR JUSTICE?! And thus you have Classy and Fabulous.

Enjoy the new chappie!

* * *

"_Girls are scary. Large groups of girls scare the crap out of me." -Kristen Stewart_

Turns out 'Mack', as he was pointed out to Artemis by the hair gel in a pair of pinstripes she spoke to earlier, wasn't as creepy as his appearance led her to believe. He was actually fairly helpful, explaining that her Spider wouldn't be found at a party like this, but could fairly easily be located in a little club in the south side of Brooklyn.

So it wasn't Fedora Mack sending shivers up her spine. That was courtesy of the skinny man standing and leering to his left. She was pretty sure that normally he wouldn't be invited to such a gathering as this, but Artemis got the impression he was some sort of relative to Mack. Damn the Mob and their dedication to family. The younger man hadn't been introduced to her, but Artemis decided to call him Rat Face to herself. His eyes were just barely too close together and his face had a pinched look to it. Not that she was judging...no, no, she totally was. The man was checking her out like she was a piece of meat, and deserved every bit of judgment she could muster. And she could muster quite a bit.

As her conversation with Fedora Mack came to its conclusion, she thanked him and began making her way back into the more well-lit areas of the hall, hoping she could maybe find one of her teammates as company now that the majority of her objective was complete. Who else had an easy enough task that they might be done and ready to stand against the wall making fun of the peacocking socialites?

Just as she spotted Wally in a gray suit and baby blue shirt (and, really Wally? Did he think this was prom circa 1987?) looking suspiciously bored by the buffet table, a light touch at her elbow brought her attention away from the speedster and towards Rat Face, who seemed to have followed her away from his uncle. Great. Another pick-up artist.

Artemis tried to keep from rolling her eyes as the man started chatting her up. Just as he was getting around to his various accomplishments in the sport of hunting (at which Artemis just barely managed not to snort in derision), a young lady in a tastefully ruffled dress that likely cost more than Robin's motorcycle (not that she'd ever seen it outside of the grainy pictures in the Gazette) pranced up to Artemis and promptly threw an arm around her waist as though they were the best of friends, saying, "_Darling!_ Where have you _been?_ The girls and I are all by the window discussing the new Gucchi line this season!"

Artemis was suddenly struck by 4 observations in quick succession. One: a stranger was touching her in a way that made every cell in her body want to react in a series of martial arts maneuvers ingrained in her by her father. Two: said stranger seemed like a real-life Barbie doll, complete with blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes, and 1000 watt smile. Three: Rat Face seemed to realize he no longer had her attention, nor could he complete with Fashionista Barbie. Four: Barbie seemed to be purposefully saving her from continued and undesired interaction with Rat Face.

"I'm...sorry?" Artemis tentatively offered, uncertain of the proper response. She just barely remembered to put a slight guttural French twist to the second word. For now, she would go along with whatever Barbie was playing at.

Barbie laughed Artemis had just cracked a joke and turned towards Rat Face.

"My apologies, sir," she addressed the man, "but I must steal her away for now!"

And with that, the strange girl began leading Artemis artfully through the crowd, a feat of which the archer was immensely jealous once she realized the blonde girl must actually be rather short, as she appeared to be wearing an impressive pair of stilettos, leaving the top of her head level with Artemis' eyes.

"Sorry about just _accosting _you!" the girl just giggled at Artemis and she continued to navigate through people. "But you looked like you could use an escape from that guy. What a _creep_!" Artemis couldn't help but nod.

"Yeah, he was," she agreed. "Thanks..."

"Victoria!" the girl informed her, coming to a quick stop and spinning Artemis so she could clearly see a small group of young women sporting so many dresses of different colors Artemis felt like she was looking at a Skittles commercial.

"I'm Penelope," Artemis supplied, eying the girls warily. Surely this...Victoria...wouldn't make her go over there. Is this where phrases like, "out of the frying pan and into the fire," came about?

"You have such a cute accent, Penelope!" Victoria exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "Let me introduce you to some of the girls! I don't know how functions like this go in France," Artemis noted her accent was clearly sufficient for her cover. At least she did _that _much right, "but here we find it's best to stay in groups, that way creepers are too intimidated to come talk to you!"

As Victoria gestured to a brunette in a strappy brown dress covered in sparkles, Artemis contemplated the truth of Victoria's words, and then allowed a small grin on her face as an unrelated thought crossed her mind, as stray thoughts are sometimes wont to do. She got in with the Mean Girl crowd of a fancy aristocrat party. She'd like to see _Robin _manage that!

"Penelope," Victoria turned back towards the disguised superhero, "I'd like to introduce you to Gabriella. Her family is in the import-export business, so she's a regular at these sorts of parties!"

Artemis smiled and nodded at Gabriella, who, based on the introduction given by Victoria and her olive complexion and dark hair _clearly _came from a Mafia family. Great. Artemis wondered if it would be rude to ask which one so she knew whether or not her cover was in danger of being blown by one of Gabriella's Family members at the party. Her dad had done plenty of business with various Mafia families, some of whom would easily recognize her despite the dress and make-up.

"Gabriella," Artemis said politely, "It's nice to meet another friendly face. So far my conversationalists for the evening have been less enjoyable."

"Oh, Gabi, you wouldn't _believe _who I pulled her away from! The man's face looked like some sort of...rodent, and he was wearing this _awful _cheap cologne that I could smell from halfway across the room!" Victoria explained in outrage.

"He did look like a rat, didn't he?" Artemis added with a slight chuckle, pleased that they were on the same page at least about something.

"Oh!" Gabriella exlaimed, gloved hand coming to cover her mouth, "Not Mack's nephew?"

So _that _explained the relation!

"The very same!" Artemis answered.

"He _is _horrible," the brunette continued. "Our Families are on good terms, so I have to pretend to be polite to him wayyyy too often!"

Artemis felt her pain.

"How did he manage to corner you?" the quieter girl inquired. "The one saving grace to his creepiness is that he rarely leaves his uncle's side."

Artemis tried to sigh in a way that Penelope would consider a polite show of exasperation.

"The Family is trying to...expand, and I was told Mack could be of...use," she explained. "Unfortunately I came away from the conversation with a leech attached.

The two debutantes quickly giggled at the image.

"Well," Victoria cut in, with a clever look in her eye, "if you want to talk _business_, no need to risk the creep factor. We may all be here for the dancing and socializing, but just because we _look_ like wallflowers doesn't mean we don't take care of business just as much as those goons."

Artemis' opinion of the blonde rapidly shifted. This girl was smart. And possibly dangerous. She would do well to remember that most of these seemingly air-headed girls came from dangerous underworld backgrounds. Well then. Maybe her mission was not over yet.

"What sort of expansion are you looking into?" Gabriella asked, snagging a glass of some sort of sparkling beverage from a passing waiter.

At Artemis' hesitation, Victoria quickly added in, "Oh, honey, you don't have to worry about us. Consider Gabi a...directory...for finding the right person for you to talk business with. Just tell us what you're after and she'll tell you which girl can set you right!"

"So if Gabriella is a directory, what does that make you?" Artemis asked, only realizing after the words left her mouth that it may have come off rather rude. However, she was beginning to get a strange sort of vibe off of the peppy blonde and was curious as to what her answer would be.

Victoria, however, seemed far from offended, choosing instead to laugh, which seemed to be her go-to response for everything.

"Well _darling_," she punctuated, using the same pet name she did earlier when rescuing Artemis from Rat Face, "I'm the operator of course!"

Even the quieter brunette to her left smiled a bit at the response. Artemis just raised an eyebrow and indicated for Victoria to continue.

"Gabi knows everything about everyone, but she's a bit on the shy side, bless her," Victoria winked at her friend before continuing, "so I will be your docent for the evening! Facts may be Gabi's specialty, but people are mine!" she said with a flourish, flinging her arms wide as though offering Artemis the very ballroom itself.

Artemis believed her. In fact, she was beginning to believe that if she looked up 'charismatic' in the dictionary, all she'd see would be a portrait of Victoria's perfect Barbie face.

"So," Gabriella said quietly, once Victoria had quieted down from her performance, "what sort of business?"

The superhero decided to continue her charade with the potential of gaining even more information out of these girls. "Some of our contacts back home," she began, indicating France. The League of Shadows had strong European connections, so maybe Gabriella would catch on. "suggested that if we wanted to pursue trade in this country that is best kept in the shadows, a man we have heard referred to only as the Spider, or the Spider King, may be the best one to begin a relationship with—that he is looking to expand as well, and would welcome new investors in his enterprise."

There. Artemis thought she did quite well. Subtle, yet direct.

"Hmm," Gabriella seemed to be contemplating. "I don't know _how _welcoming they would be if you just turned up with no one to vouch for you..." she explained.

"So I need to make a contact here before I can make the contact I really want?" Artemis tried to make sense of what the Mafiosa girl was telling her. Dammit! It sounded like there were many more hoops to jump through to reach this guy than she could manage in one evening at a party in a fancy dress.

"Maybe," Gabriella supplied. "Then again, maybe it would be enough to show a demonstration of your commitment..." she trailed off, and then snapped to Victoria, looking for all the world like a light bulb was sitting atop her head, just blazing. "Did I hear that Kit and her mother were here tonight?"

"Yes..." Victoria answered, seemingly just as confused by Gabriella's excitement as Artemis. She pointed towards a girl that looked like she was about their age with long black hair. Artemis got a vaguely Gothic vibe from the girl, maybe just because hers was the only black dress in the sea of rainbow sported by the girls around her.

"This is the first time I've seen either of them in some time, so I don't quite know what they've been up to the past few years..." Victoria seemed to indicate there was some potential for distrust there.

"Oh, no need to worry," Gabriella snorted in the most ladylike way possible, brushing her hand as though to wipe away Victoria's words. "They've been working mostly in eastern Europe. I've heard a few of the stories, and let's just say, I would _love _to see the new art collection!"

So. These people were thieves. Why did she need thieves to help her finally get close to her target?

"Okay, but why..." At least Victoria continued to be nonplussed. "Oh!"

Never mind.

"Gabi, you're brilliant!" the blonde cried, grabbing the brunette face in between her palms and kissing her quickly on each cheek in a flamboyant display of pride. She then turned to Artemis and said "Penelope, I'm going to introduce you to our friend Kit. She's a bit...odd...but she's a sweet girl, and her mother is _quite _well known in our...community. I'm sure Kit would let you join in on a job with the two of them—knowing them, they wouldn't be back here unless there was a job involved—and when you're done, take your haul to this Spider as a token. Showing you're really a part of the _Life_," Artemis had to keep from cringing when she said 'Life' just like her father used to during training, "plus having two world-renowned thieves vouch for you might get you the in you need!"

She had to agree, it was a good plan. Except her cover would have to be a bit longer and a bit more involved than she was sure Batman was planning. She wished she had a radio and the time to check in with the Caped Crusader to see what he wanted her to do, now that her mission parameters were shifting slightly.

She quickly called to life the telepathic link the Team always had going in the back of their minds for missions like this and ran the plan by Aqualad, as succinctly as she could, while verbally smiling and thanking the two girls in front of her.

"Do it," she quickly heard Robin's voice say in her mind. "When I've been on these sorts of ops with Batman before, he always says to follow a lead as far as you can. After all, we're supposed to be working on our stealth and undercover skills, right?" With that, his voice (or as close an approximation you can get to a voice using telepathy) abruptly cut out. Apparently whatever he was doing required his full attention.

Artemis had almost forgotten about Robin. And their deal. Maybe his full attention was required because his voice was starting to sound too manly without his full concentration...or maybe he had to go to the bathroom and couldn't quite face having to use the ladies'...or maybe Rat Face was creeping on _him_ instead of her. The smile she was using on Victoria and Gabriella suddenly became a bit more authentic.

"Lead the way, O Operator Extraordinaire!" Artemis said to Victoria, gesturing grandly to the floor in front of her, as Victoria began to head toward the alleged thief.

* * *

Robin had to use all his concentration to keep from snickering out loud as he finished his mental conversation with Artemis. He hadn't meant to cut into Aqualad's leadership time like that, but this was just _too perfect!_ Artemis had _no idea_! This was totally worth the waxing and fake eyelashes. Plus, he hadn't lied. He really did think Batman would want her to see this out. It was just a bonus that he got to play a role without her knowing.

This was better than the picture he snapped of the two of them her first day at Gotham Academy. Revealing _that _joke wouldn't happen for a while yet—Batman was still too paranoid about their secret ID's. But _this _one...oh man. This was _gold_. He'd have to remember to have Wally on hand to take pictures when he finally did the reveal.

Speaking of Wally...yup. Still at the buffet table. Alright. No need to worry about Kid Flash then. Time to devote all his attention to being a _better girl than Artemis_, as promised. Time to introduce Penelope to Kit, and hope that Artemis could maintain her cover as Penelope as well planning a heist as she seemed to be managing at the party. This was going to be _fun_.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry, meant to have a bit more Robin as Robin in this chapter, but I just had too much fun writing dialogue. My B!

Also, a wonderful reviewer (on that note, I love reviews! It's awesome getting to hear from you guys!) asked how long I thought this story was going to be. Just in case anyone else cares, I'm aiming for around 10 chapters. It's basically been exposition til now, but either in Chapter 4 or 5 we're going to see some rising action that will (hopefully) pick up the pace!


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